On Sunday, my pastor talked about real relationship with God versus religion.
He put it this way: religion is a relationship with rules. Faith is a relationship with God. (Those weren’t his exact words, but they’re close enough.)
It’s so easy to trade a relationship with Jesus for a relationship with rules. Do you ever find yourself falling into legalism too?
I try to convince myself that’s not the trade I’m actually making.
If anything, I’m following the rules to prove that I’m enough for God. He feels far away. I’m earning his love because I feel like I have to…woe is me.
If you’ve read any of what Jesus said to the Pharisees for their legalism in Matthew 23, you know legalism merits repentance.
But actual repentance comes at the cost of the victim mindset.
For me, it also comes at the cost of psychology.
I love psychology. It’s fascinating. And once I understand a concept, I feel a firmer grasp on how the world works.
But God changed how the world works at the cross.
We need to talk about the cross.
The cross changed everything–we are more than victors in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:37).
Yeah, we live in a broken world so broken mindsets make sense. Maybe your unhealth is completely merited.
Awful things happen to us that aren’t our fault.
But that’s not the whole story.
Because of the cross, I’ve been able to sidestep many of the results of my brokenness.
After I was diagnosed with an eating disorder, I realized (thanks to my amazing community in Ohio at my apprenticeship and church) so many of my mindsets about food were warped.
Lies, lies, and more lies.
One warped mindset? I must “deserve” food.
In this broken world, that mindset actually made sense because someone told me it was true as a kid.
And for reasons all the psychological lingo could make sense of, I couldn’t seem to stop believing the lie.
I don’t think most people would say it’s my fault.
But for me, believing a lie that’s so blatantly wrong and inherently about God (because God is the one who gave everyone the gift and right to food) merits repentance.
“God, I’m sorry for believing this lie. I repent and I ask for your truth.”
That’s how I do it in my relationship with Jesus.
I used to do it very differently, more like, “God, I’m sorry I have this problem that isn’t my fault and you could’ve prevented.”
Fake I’m sorrys don’t cut it. Not for God or people.
Application
The trick…the one practical action step…is choosing to say yes to God.
Study God’s word. Find where your mindset and His don’t match. Repent of the lying mindsets you’ve believed, knowing He will forgive you.
Or if “repenting” feels too legalistic, “renounce” it by saying it’s NOT true out loud or on a piece of paper. The most important part is actually cultivating a relationship with Jesus.
Either way, accept His forgiveness/healing as a precious gift from a friend who cares for you instead of a begrudging pardon because you “did the right thing.”
This is how we chose a relationship with God instead of rules. This is how we sidestep the results of brokenness.
Share this article with a friend you trust, so that you can grow and heal in community.
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