I’m working on a huge project right now.
I’m the managing editor for Fantastical Summer, a collection of summer-themed magical realism short stories from different authors.
It will be released in May 2025 and for the next two weeks, submissions are open. Writers of all sorts can submit for a chance to be featured in the anthology.
My job is to answer questions, but even more importantly, to spread the news.
I want to encourage authors to take the leap, submit, and not miss their chance to be part of this great project.
But I feel like I’m failing. The supervising editor called me into his office this week to tell me I’m not doing enough.
Which is fair. I’d been juggling other projects and hadn’t gotten any new content out.
But it’s hard to hear.
I’m working through part of lunch and then until 5 PM almost every day. I don’t have more time.
If I focus completely on Fantastical Summer (which I’m supposed to be doing), I’ll drop so many other projects that I have no earthly clue how I can ever catch up on later.
It’s not like things will slow down after submissions close. That’s when the real work begins. It’s also when unrelated new initiatives I’m partly responsible for will start.
I can’t quit because this is where God’s called me to be and what He’s called me to do. So I feel trapped in a corner. I’m doing my absolute best.
But it’s not enough.
Literally while writing this article, I started crying. Even though I was alone, I said “it’s fine, I’m fine” out loud.
I definitely sound like someone who should be giving you advice, right? (eyeroll)
I probably sound overwhelmed, stressed, and paralyzed. Because that’s where I’m at. But I also sound like someone dedicated to asking a vital question about every single aspect of life.
WHAT DOES GOD SAY?
What does God say? That’s my question. That’s my focus. That’s what I’m trying to answer about every single little part of being human. What does God say about it?
What does God say when we feel like we’re not enough?
This verse made no sense to me for a long time. I used it to fuel my perfectionism, which just burnt me out.
But what if we view it through the lens of Heb. 10:14?
Jesus covered our not enough with the mantle of His righteousness. His one sacrifice of the cross perfected everyone who would accept it.
What if the perfection we’re supposed to gain isn’t our perfection based on our works, but our perfection based on Jesus’s KIND GRACIOUS gift of His perfectness?
So what if being perfect before God isn’t about what we do, but who we let define us? What cosmic truth we entrust our lives to…
What if God accepts our “not enough”?
What if we can approach the throne of grace with confidence?
LET PEOPLE SHOW JESUS TO YOU
I’ve felt overwhelmed and stressed in relationships before. But even deeper, I’ve felt like I’m not good enough.
Not enough for the people I care about. Not enough for friendship. Not enough to be loved.
I’ve failed people. I’ve made mistakes. But I’ve also just felt incredibly insecure.
But when I started accepting people’s grace as their way of showing Jesus to me, it all changed.
When I changed my thoughts from “I don’t deserve help, I shouldn’t need it…or I need to make sure I help them back so I’m not a burden” to “this is a picture of Jesus” everything changed.
Can we accept help and love in the middle of our “not enough” as a reminder of who Jesus is and what he’s done for us?
I think we can. And I think it’ll be great.
If you’re a writer, submit to Fantastical Summer today! Submissions close on January 30th, and it’s honestly an amazing project to be part of.
Hi, thank you for your message. I was really interested in your anthology submission, but I just couldn’t figure out how to write my short story for it even though I have the idea just not the motivation for it. What also didn’t help that when I tried to write it I also looked at the results of the Pumpmin Spice writing contest and got super pumped that my friend I’ve been praying for got second place, but then the fact that my story did not even make it on the runners up list hit me like a truck. I already was nervous to enter it and so when it didn’t qualify anything, even though I know I never win any contests anyways, it made me feel super embarrassed to not even want to look at my pumpkin spice short story again. That drained the will to write the short story I came up with for yours even though I tried building it back up again, so you message really hit me…in a good way though, don’t worry. I’m sorry I stopped working on it, I really wanna continue it and help you out. It’s just…even thinking about trying to write it again gives me overwhelming discouragement even though I love the story itself. The story idea gives me comfort, but writing out gives me discouragement I guess.
I understand how you feel! You might enjoy reading the article where I tell the whole (incredibly embarrassing) story of how I lost The Company contest a few years ago. Every single thing I submitted to before applying for this apprenticeship didn’t even place. 🙁 I’m praying God encourages you to keep going until you reach the opportunity he’s prepared for you. <3
Here's the link to that post: https://vellakarman.com/2024/05/15/do-you-belong-in-the-contest-im-judging/
Such a good reminder. I’ve been (and honestly still kinda am) in that space of not feeling like enough. Thanks for a great reminder!
I feel that. God’s got you, amiga.
Beautiful. ❤️ I needed to hear this 🙂
So glad God brought it to you at the right time, Chloe. <3