You don’t have to feel stuck when you’re lonely. 

Do you know the song Waving Through a Window from Dear Evan Hansen? “On the outside always looking in, will I ever be more than I’ve always been?” The first time I heard it, that song haunted me for weeks because I related to it so deeply.

Waving Through a window reminds me that I’re not the only person who feel helpless when I’m lonely. The song asks if we’ll ever grow out of this place–if we’ll ever get unstuck.

The song also talks about how fear stops us before we even start. That resonated with me for sure. I’m afraid of being awkward, I’m afraid of being vulnerable, but I’m even more afraid of living without community.

I’m afraid of being awkward, I’m afraid of being vulnerable, but I’m even more afraid of living without community.

Friends are our light in the darkness, our companions as we travel, and the people that God uses to touch and shape us. We need that touching and shaping, because life is too hard to do alone. And God didn’t design us to do it alone.

So why is it so hard to belong?

Belonging is more than just friendship. Belonging is DEEP friendship. Crying into each other’s shoulders, last minute star-gazing trips, sharing your most fragile hopes, partnering in a business, rolling on the floor laughing kinds of friendships.

Belonging feels right. It’s when we’re seen and known and loved as much as we’re able. It’s when iron sharpens iron. It’s when we’re fully alive.

Belonging comes at a cost. It requires time, vulnerability, forgiveness, and a willingness to grow. When you trust someone, they can hurt you. 

Honestly, if you’re close friends with anyone for long enough, they will hurt you. You’ve probably already felt rejected, unsafe, and (worst of all) awkward. Me too.

It’s so hard to belong because we’re afraid.

I’m writing to the Christian homeschoolers, and I know it’s easy to blame our differences for causing loneliness. I didn’t go anywhere that I could make new friends, I didn’t know how to start deeping the friendships I already had, and I march to the beat of my own drum.

But then I joined a drama group to meet new people, I shared stories about my life and listened to other people’s stories, and I learned to march to the beat of friendship.

Our differences don’t stop us from belonging. Our fear of rejection stops us from embracing our differences.

Our differences don’t stop us from belonging. Our fear of rejection stops us from embracing our differences.

And even when we embrace our differences and dare to water deep friendships, other fears and troubles pop up. Our friendships often hit rough spots when we neglect the most important friendship we’ll ever have: our friendship with Jesus.

I always heard Jesus is supposed to be my best friend and thought, “Yeah, but I want a best friend that I can have a conversation with.” That’s fair, but let me give you a shortcut to community: We can’t belong with other people until we belong with God.

We can’t belong with other people until we belong with God.

We’re not designed to do life alone because we’re designed to do it with Him. Yes, we’re designed to connect with other people, but we were designed to connect with Him first.

So let’s do this together. Let’s conquer our fears, find a way to belong, and live in the beautiful truth of belonging with God and the people around us. Let’s get unstuck.