I grew up on the edge of a rough neighborhood.
Sometimes there’d be gunfire so close it sounded like it was in the backyard. One time, a police squad with K9s and a chopper were out looking for a wanted criminal in the creek about fifty feet from my backdoor.
But overall it was a quiet suburb. I petsat a bunch of cats and dogs…made baked goodies for the retired veteran across the street.
Our street, in particular, had a mascot. A big black dog that was friendly enough to barge into your house the first time you met him. He officially belonged to the sweet family in the big house at the end of the cul-de-sac, but you could never find him at home.
A lot of people had the NextDoor app, and we all looked out for each other.
If a fight broke out…
If a real, physical fight broke out in the same place as me, I’d react like the white girl who washes her hands after shopping at Walmart that I am.
You’d think after growing up near gunshots and fugitive hunts, I could probably handle a little fistfight. Not true.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.
I’m good at writing authentic characters with anxiety.
From Lauren in Beyond the Mirage, to my first published short story, which my writing mentor called the best depiction of a panic attack he’s ever seen in a story (btw, you can read it for free here)…I’m pretty good at the whole anxious characters thing.
And I wonder if it has anything to do with where I grew up.
- The people at the park behind my house, shooting into the sky.
- The watchful eye I kept on my sister at the playground, which was right next to an unsavory apartment building.
- The time I got called “white trash” while I was on a walk.
I know how it feels to be on the edge of something bad, but not in the middle of it yet. And that’s sort of the core to anxiety.
“Something bad is about to happen.” That’s what a nervous system whispers to itself on repeat when it’s anxious.
I’m no psychologist. But I know that truth is a wonderful salve for open wounds. And if lies are on repeat in your head, heart, or body, God is the most amazing healer.
Lemme encourage you…
If you related to Lauren’s anxious moments in Beyond the Mirage, I want you to know that doesn’t define you.
The same way Lauren is joyful, and a little sarcastic, and will be a wonderful teacher someday, you have so many other character traits! You are wonderfully and fearfully made.
Anxiety wasn’t part of the human experience in The Garden of Eden, and it won’t be part of our experience in heaven. That classifies it as darkness in my mind. And you know what? The light is stronger than the darkness.
FILL your life with light, my friend.
Want a fun mood-booster to help out? Check out this epic song I heard yesterday: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmvMm3Ing54
What do you think? If you’ve already read Beyond the Mirage, did you notice the anxious moments? Leave your thoughts in a comment, I’d love to hear them.
If you haven’t read it yet, it’s ON SALE for $1!! This will only last a few more days, so grab it now: https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Mirage-Vella-Karman-ebook/dp/B0GXH3M73D/
