“I’m not cut out for this,” a voice screams in the back of my mind. “I’m not good at this. I’m making a mistake.”
My heart beats hard, like a bird frantically flapping its wings to avoid a fall.
Air catches in my lungs. “I can’t breathe. I need to quit.”
I’m sure a lot of us have experienced something like this.
Career plans…
When I chose writing as a career, I don’t know…it sounded like a dream come true? And I told myself it was more than a dream, it was a calling.
Callings involve hard work. Dreams are happy-go-lucky fantasies.
That’s not to say you can’t “live the dream” as long as you know the dream includes stuff that sucks.
- If you dream of owning a business, know that it involves headaches over taxes.
- If you dream of training as a master chef, expect hours of scrubbing dirty dishes.
- If you want to be a mom, there’s always dirty diapers.
And I knew this!
You probably know it too. We’re willing to make sacrifices to reach our dreams.
But did you know the greatest sacrifice you might have to make is your perfectionism?
Sacrifice your perfectionism
When perfectionism is our religion, everything goes wonky.
Even if something is your calling, when you try to do it perfectly more than you do it to try and glorify Jesus, you’re not serving Him. You’re veering into the fake religion of perfectionism.
BUT
Signs that perfectionism is your religion:
- Other people point out that you have high expectations.
- There’s this hidden anger in your heart. Especially towards yourself for making mistakes.
- Every day, you’re just trying not to fail.
- Fear is one of your biggest motivators.
“Perfect love casts out all fear.” (1 John 4:18)
God perfectly and completely loves you. When He looks at us, He sees Jesus’s righteousness and not our sin.
We’re holy and blameless in His sight! (Ephesians 1)
So if we get mad at ourselves for making mistakes or let fear drive our actions, we’re not serving Jesus.
Jesus is strong and kind. He never expected us to earn His love.
His yoke is easy and His burden is light.
God told me something wild…
Perfectionism will stop you from enjoying your dream, pursuing your calling, and serving Jesus.
Sacrificing the false religion of perfectionism at the foot of the cross is well worth it. Maybe it’s even vital.
Sometimes you give Jesus your perfectionism, but you’re still thinking about quitting. I’ve felt like I’m on the back of a wild stallion galloping in a direction I’m not sure I’m supposed to go.
Yesterday I was praying about it and I felt God pointing me in a different direction.
Here’s what the conversation looked like:
Me: God, I’m not cut out for this.
God: I don’t ‘cut people out’ for things, I knit them together in their mother’s womb.
I had such a picture in my mind of the difference between God cutting people out–like someone making paper chains in the shape of humans–versus God knitting us together in our mother’s wombs.
It seems to me…that something handknit is a lot more versatile than something cut from paper. A hand-knit blanket could be used as a tablecloth or a couch cover or a decoration or for cuddly warmth.
I’m trusting that my Maker has it figured out.
If you like books…
I’m an author.
I’ve written three or four books so far, but this collection of clean short stories I edited is being published (one of my own short stories is treading water somewhere in the middle of the book too).
It’s a bunch of fun, faith-filled summer stories. I think you’ll really like it.
One of the best parts is that fifteen different authors worked on it, so you get a taste of so many different styles and types of magical realism (which is the genre). You might even discover a favorite new author!
Also, I have a free little Bible study for you. 🙂
