There has been a moment with each of my family members where I thought there was no way our relationship could survive.
Too hurt. Too broken. Too messed up.
I’d hurt them and they’d hurt me and all that compiled hurt was too much. There was no way we could ever move past it.
But we did.
Over and over again, we did.
It’s not the end
When a friend ditched me several times and I gave up on us, that wasn’t the end.
When I told a guy friend that I liked him and he wasn’t sure if he liked me back, that wasn’t the end.
When I put people in the place of God and hurt them, that wasn’t the end.
When I thought just a few months ago that all of my friendships from high school were over, that wasn’t the end.
When I told jokes about a friend that I shouldn’t have, that wasn’t the end.
When I lost touch with a friend because her mom died and I didn’t know what to say (for YEARS), that wasn’t the end.
I hope you’re getting my point: hurts don’t have to spell out the end of a relationship. Really, you never know if it’s the end or not, only God knows.
And only God redeems broken relationships in such a powerful way.
Did Jesus die to save the narwhals? No. He died to restore God’s relationship with us. And he can restore our other relationships too.
My new theory…
My new theory is that relationships are as much about surviving as anything else.
I know, it probably sounds cynical. Here I am, supposed to be telling you about the beauty of belonging and why you should pursue good, deep friendships and I’m telling you to just survive.
But…there’s something beautiful about surviving.
We say it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. But what if it’s even better to have loved and lost and had it restored in the end? What if that’s what teaches us to treasure our relationships?
What if the moment where I realized my friendship with the guy I liked who didn’t exactly like me back had survived that whole fiasco was the best moment of our whole relationship? It proved that we had something good. Something worth keeping.
I’m just…in awe.
It’s the CHRISTmas season. It’s the time to live in awe of things. And I’m in awe of the way God restores. I’m in awe of the way staying when things get hard and surviving those rough patches knits us together.
I’m in awe of Jesus and the wonderful fact that I have a relationship with him.
Rollercoasters
For a long time, I’ve thought of relationships as rollercoasters. How you feel about them varies daily, and sometimes it feels like you’re just along for the ride, but in the end, any one moment of the relationship doesn’t determine everything. There’s ups and downs. It doesn’t always feel great. But you can survive it.
Is there an old friend you can reach out to this CHRISTmas season? Text them “Merry Christmas” or “I’m praying for you” and see what happens.