Never admit that you’re wrong. People will stop trying to talk things out with you and cower before (or avoid) your very presence.

Or entangle yourself in a codependent relationship.

A codependent relationship is only a short-term fix, because eventually it will blow up in your face. But it’s a very effective method if you’re willing to leave the country as soon as the fallout starts.

If codependent relationships are too intense for you, try people-pleasing. It’s a much more common, definitive, and socially accepted way of avoiding conflict.

How to people-please:

Be a doormat, let people walk all over you, and then apologize for wiping the mud marks from your face. Never answer a question honestly, do kind things to keep people from getting mad at you, and always try to earn love.

Never admit it if something bothered or hurt you, like if they ditch you or forget to pay back the $15 you loaned them six months ago. In a nutshell, never stand up for yourself and always try to appease the other person. 

Bonus points if you help someone plan their birthday party knowing you probably won’t get an invite. 

If those aren’t your style, try acting passive-aggressively. Whatever you’re upset about, don’t talk about it. Make sure everyone knows you’re displeased and disgusted by something and it’s their fault. This will smooth over any conflicts you’re experiencing.

No friends = no conflict

Even better, don’t have any friends in the first place. I’m a BIG fan of the hermitage lifestyle.

If you know the Myers Briggs personality types of your current friends, this article can help you ruin those friendships fast.

If you don’t know your friends’ Myers Briggs personality types, you can eliminate them with death threats.

If your friends stay your friends even after getting letters in the mail saying to avoid you or else, you’ve got a real problem: loyal friends. I shudder to think…

Now, you might get arrested for sending fake death threats, but that solves your problem of friends. Only you’ll probably face some conflict if you’re thrown in jail with a bunch of criminals, so try not to get caught. 

Another brilliant way to deaden the spark of a friendship is to stop investing time and energy in it. You’ve got a million things to do anyway, so choose to prioritize those responsibilities. Pretty soon your friendships will disappear without you even noticing.

You could also break your friendships the old-fashioned way (i.e. punch them in the face and refuse to apologize).

There’s also gaslighting, ghosting, and a shocking number of Google search results for how to distance yourself from someone.  

As I always say, it’s better to punch someone in the face and become a hermit than risk real community and belonging.

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If for some strange reason you do want belonging and good deep friendships (even though they come with the occasional conflict), you really should sign up for my email list. I share weekly articles to help you grow in biblical community. Plus I made a free playlist of songs about belonging for you!