I figured something out.
If you don’t feel safe in friendships, one of the best ways to get that safety is stepping into friendships.
I know, it sounds counterintuitive that doing the thing that scares you will take the fear away. But it’s true.
You start to feel okay as you go because God wants you in community. And the safest place to be is where He wants you.
But that’s not how we live, is it?
I live like self-protection makes me safe, I live like isolating when I’m anxious makes me safe, I live like surrounding myself with godly people makes me safe, I live like distraction from stressful things makes me safe.
But if the safest place to be is where He wants me…we need to do community differently.
Doing it Differently
We accidentally turn our friendships self-centered. Yes, God designed us to belong. But He also made us to be a blessing and it’s not all about us!
Yes, we need balance and boundaries to stay healthy. But maybe we don’t need to worry so much about balance when God is the biggest thing in our lives.
I want to be unbalanced towards God, and I think that’s the thing that’s finally bringing balance. I want to be all in for God. I don’t want to limit Him to Sunday or to devotional time or to when I feel safe.
The safest thing is to have no limits with God, even though it doesn’t always feel that way.
Safe Spaces
Sometimes the safest place feels like the scariest place. And that’s in God’s arms.
But that fear, that fear is a lie.
Because He is good and He does love you and He will take care of you. I’ve walked through seasons that felt like living hell and He took care of me.
He is my only safe place.
Feeling safe with friends isn’t about not extending yourself. Feeling safe with friends isn’t just about how they treat you. Feeling safe is always about feeling safe with God.
Ditching the boundaries
When you realize God is your safety, you can be brave.
My roommate spent a couple months saying “yes” to every single social event. And deep community came from it.
So I want to challenge you:
- Try saying yes when you feel at capacity.
- Try going even though you’re scared.
- Try vulnerability the next time someone asks how you’re doing.
- Try answering the phone instead of letting it go to voicemail and then texting back.
- Try staying longer than feels comfortable.
Don’t wait to feel safe before stepping into what God has for you. The feelings will catch up as you grow.
Just take that next step into friendship with God and people.
And let me know how it goes. I’ll be here. 🙂