My worst fear is really common. It plays across the minds of thousands of people night and day…what if I’m unloveable?

This question niggles at the vulnerable parts of our hearts. It stops us from stepping into community. It stems from an anxious fear that tells us we don’t belong. 

It’s a pretty painful, am I right? 

Here’s a quote Donald Miller shared in his book Blue Like Jazz.

“…to be in a relationship with God is to be loved purely and furiously. And a person who thinks himself unloveable cannot be in a relationship with God because he can’t accept who God is; a Being that is love. We learn that we are lovable or unlovable from other people,” Paul [the author’s friend] says. “That is why God tells us so many times to love each other.”

Donald Miller

Sounds like we need to look for good, deep friendships. But it also sounds like our relationship with God is at the core.

So here’s a different question we can ask ourselves when we start wondering if we’re loveable: can I accept the full extent of God’s love for me? 

Anxious but loveable

Anxiety tells us lies. Anxiety isn’t from God, so I think it’s safe to say anxiety is Satan’s fault.

Anxiety pushes us to action. (Speaking of anxiety, have you seen Inside Out 2 yet?)

Anxiety makes us strive for love and acceptance.

“[A] false idea of how God views you will begin to drive your emotional responses to Him. You will be wearied with trying to please Him, and your spirit will not soar in the liberty of loving adoration that He has designed for you.”

Bob Sorge

My mentor pointed this out in a specific situation this month. I used to pray, “God, You love me and I love You,” but it didn’t mesh with my life. Even when I said it, I was striving to make it true. I reached for becoming “good enough.” I tried to make myself lovable. But we don’t have to earn God’s love, it’s FREE! It’s the most amazing free gift. 

Now I pray it as a reminder of what is true. 

And for the rest of my life, that truth will play across my heart like a record in a turntable. Even if you can’t always hear the difference yet, I sure feel it.

This is why I love going to God first. He’s always found me loveable.

Love makes me brave. If God loves me, nothing else matters. 

If you want to grow in your relationship with God first, check out “Secrets of the Secret Place” by Bob Sorge.

What we tell ourselves also matters. So grab a journal and a pen and write: “I am loveable. I know it’s true because God loves me.”

I’ll be writing it too.