The worst thing I’ve ever done to a friend is idolize them.

I guess it’s confession time.

First confession: I really don’t want to post my faults on the internet for everyone to read. But here I am. I guess there’s justice in the world.

Second confession: I’m guilty of an atrocious sin against my friends and family members. 

I’ve put them in the place of God.

Expectations

I’ve expected friends to be my strength, my listening ear, my shield, to remind me of the truth, to bring joy and love and kindness into my life.

I’ve expected the people I trust to not hurt me, which is incredibly unrealistic considering we’re all sinful humans.

I even expect my boss at the Hibachi restaurant to fill God’s place sometimes. She sends me home early and I’m tempted to get mad, as if it’s my boss’s job to provide for me. 

It’s not. It’s God’s and only God’s. 

Lots of people make this mistake in romantic relationships. They expect a boyfriend or girlfriend, wife or husband to fulfill their needs. I don’t know if other people make this mistake with friends or I’m just the odd one out. 😉

Actually a big deal

Yes, most healthy friendships include listening, loving, and laughing. The problem is where I went first. If I had a rough day, I’d tell a friend about it before I told God. 

Sometimes we need to interact with other people to learn how to interact with God, but as soon as we learn how, He NEEDS to be first. Otherwise people will be hurt. 

To sum up: I hurt people and I dishonored God. And I didn’t even realize it.

Solutions for your problems

Are you disappointed in your friendships? Do you ever feel like something is off?

This could be your problem. And you don’t even realize what you’re doing to them…or yourself.

Both people in a relationship like this are getting shortchanged. One gets a burden put on them. Whether they accept it or not, it’s from someone who could be a really good friend and it’s hitting the mark. The other gets only annoyed human responses to a need that God could fill so abundantly.

So what’s the solution? God first.

Friendships with humans are an echo of our friendship with God. We can rely on them, but only in a healthy way when we rely on and are friends with God first.

Friendships with humans are an echo of our friendship with God. We can rely on them, but only in a healthy way when we rely on and are friends with God first.

Call on God first. Vent to God first. Love God first.

I like the song, “Unpack Your Heart” by Phillip Phillips because it’s such a great example. If I unpack my heart to God, who always truly wants and can handle it, then it’s safe to unpack my heart with other people.

When I find fulfillment (and true belonging) in Christ, I can treat my friends like they matter. Like the wonderful, talented, priceless people they are.

The joy of friendship is that we get to be people just figuring it out–together.

Let me know in the comments – are you expecting any of your friends to fill a need that really should be brought to God? What are you going to do about it?