I’d hit it again.

The point where I get scared. The point where I don’t want to stay at an event any longer. The point where I want to leave before anything bad happens.

Before anything bad happens.

It took me months to lay bare the actual thoughts running through my head in those moments. I just knew I felt antsy and my instincts warned me to leave.

The Power of Lingering

I know something beautiful happens when we linger at events. Often the memorable moments, the deepest conversations, and the craziest connections happen after the point when it’s socially okay to leave.

This is why they invented afterparties–people didn’t want to miss out on the magic. But why is it magical?

I think it’s because everyone there has chosen to stay. To linger in each other’s company.

It’s more relaxed and spontaneous. And, of course, quantity breeds quality.

Friend groups can even be formed based on who stays late or not. For example, if you’re in a sport, the people who stick around to talk after practice once a week will become friends. The people who don’t stick around (or open a book/power on their phone), won’t be part of the friend group.

So if I know how impactful lingering is, why do I want to leave early?

The Power of Fear

Fear will control you if you let it.

Isn’t that what anxiety is? I watched Inside Out 2 with my roommate yesterday, and it raised really good questions about anxiety. Anxiety looks a lot like out-of-control fear.

But the goal isn’t to wrestle control away from fear, but to place it in the hands of a loving God.

The goal isn’t to wrestle control away from fear, but to place it in the hands of a loving God.

Years ago, when I realized that fear controlled me, I decided not to let it anymore. You know what I did instead? I tried to be in control myself.

Don’t do it.

Control belongs to God alone (Jeremiah 10:23).

The Power of Deciding to Stay

When this feeling came at the pool with friends the other day, I stretched myself.

Now that I’ve identified the fear (which is sadly based in actual things that have happened to me), I can start chosing how to handle it.

I decided to stay when they called adult swim for the second time.

I decided to stay when the conversation petered into nothing because my friends pulled out books to read in the sun.

I decided hop back in the pool when a kid asked me to, even though I’d mostly dried off already.

I stayed so long I got a painful sunburn. And I don’t regret it.

Friends, what stops you from lingering?

Maybe it’s not a fear of something bad happening at the event, but a fear that you won’t be able to get everything done.

Write down your fear and drop it in the comments. We can overcome together!