I attended the first ever Ohio Writers Association Conference last Saturday!  

And it got me thinking about big events.

People make so many assumptions about introversion and extroversion in connection to big, loud crowds. 

So let me clear some things up.

What does the label Introvert/Extrovert really mean?

The distinction between an introvert and extrovert is really about where they get their energy: from time alone or with other people. Read this article for an in-depth dive.

Extroverts: with other people. Introverts: alone. 

So extroverts are more likely to be party animals and excited about a big people-packed event. Introverts are more likely to stay at home. But it’s not that simple.

You hate loud, crowded events because you don’t have fun at them. Maybe you feel like you can’t handle them on some level.

Where you get your energy has nothing to do with how much fun you have in a certain situation or how well you can handle it (as long as you’re not running on vapors already).

What does that mean?

#1 If you hate big, loud crowds that doesn’t mean you’re an introvert.

Seriously. 

Extroverts will question if they misunderstood what kind of person they are when they start hating big, loud crowds.

Dear extrovert, don’t question your identity without considering other factors.

Extrovert/introvert labels don’t dictate what you like or what you’re capable of. And labels don’t matter as much as who God says you are anyway.  

If you find yourself hating big, loud crowds it’s probably not because where you sourced your energy from changed. Consider the list of factors I’ll share soon.

#2 Introverts CAN handle big, loud crowds.

I hear both introverts and extroverts talking like this isn’t true. We need to stop assuming that labels define our limits. 

Dear introvert, you’re not disqualified. You can have fun.

If you need to plan to be exhausted the next day, okay. Plan for it.

But if exhaustion the next day is the part you don’t like, stop dreading the big event and start dreading the next day. We have more fun when we limit our dread to just the thing we’re dreading. Don’t let it leak into everything else.

Because our ability to enjoy and/or handle big crowded events isn’t based on where our energy comes from, what factors actually influence it?

The Actual Factors:

1. Insecurity. You’re not sure what to do or how to talk to people. You’re not confident in yourself–your ability to navigate a new place or circumstance. The biggest warning sign of this is…overthinking.

Yep. If you’re overthinking the event, try to identify and address your insecurities.

2. Overstimulation. This depends on your season of life, energy levels, STRESS levels, sleep levels, etc… Some people are overstimulated much easier than others.

If you’re overstimulated, take time to pray in a calm place before you leave for the event. And walk away (outside, in a quiet corner or far flung bathroom stall) to do this whenever you need.

There are many studies on the benefits of meditation (cough cough prayer or reciting Bible verses) to manage overstimulation.

3. Social anxiety. 

This isn’t limited to introverts. 

Actually it’s much more tragic when an extrovert is anxious about social situations. 

I love to invite friends over, but I often get nauseous right before they come. 

So I either need to put myself through the anxiety more often or I fall into un-health. (Because as an extrovert, I need more social interaction than alone time to stay energized and healthy). 

For introverts with social anxiety, count it as a little bit of blessing that you don’t need as much interaction to stay healthy. But I feel for you, because social anxiety can take something you already feel is a weakness and make it even more challenging.

If you’re struggling with social anxiety in some form, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m still wrestling with these things myself.

4. It’s just not your scene. That’s okay! 

If you’re forced into a situation that involves big, loud crowds against your will someday, try limiting other contributing factors.

Good friends are a good resource for handling any of these things! 

They’re not experts, but do you want an expert or do you want someone to listen? A friend can offer you compassion, hope, and be a buddy in social situations.

Finally…

Take a deep breath. Choose to drop the stigmas and share your fears with your friends. And if you have a friend who hates big, loud crowds–share this article with them!